Written by a serving NYSC corps member who wishes to remain anonymous...
Some have debated the kind of fruit it was. Many take it for an apple while others say it wasn't. Though there are no evidences to support either claim, the truth still remains that a mysterious fruit was handed to the world's first Daddy by his beloved Eve. And as we all know, misery was what followed.
But quite surprisingly, there is still good news: Daddy didn't finish the fruit! Matter of fact, his wife even carefully wrapped the left-over and handed it down to the men and women of subsequent generations. Oh, What a wonder to behold!
I'm sure you're already gasping to find out how I came by this 'truth'. Well, let's see.
As a serving youth corp member in one of the southwestern states of Nigeria, I had the privilege of being a member of one of the anti-corruption CDS groups. Shortly before the passing out of the last year's batch B members, news had it that there was going to be a merger of my group with another anti-corruption group as part of the bid to reduce the overly high number of CDS groups in the zone and thereby foster efficient supervision and inspection. I'd not attended more than three meetings with my group before the merger process got well under way. As for the three meetings, all I recall is that I once introduced myself to the house when asked to do so, and I gave my opinion on a couple of issues while raising questions a few other times. I also remember that the incumbent executives were mostly of the outgoing batch B members who were making arrangements to conduct an election and thereafter hand over their offices before the merger matter hijacked the stage. With the merger now at hand, meeting venue had to change, and all election plans had to bow.
Unknown to me, there was more to those three weeks then I realised - my admirers, the daughters of Eve were fastly growing unto a substantial number. By virtue of my overall reservedness and reticence, I never knew this happened until elections for the newly formed group came up. With one of the toughest voices of unanimousness I'd ever experienced, my apathetic self got (s)elected into the office of the Vice-President by these folks, their male counterparts also lending them dogged support.
"Congratulations to you Mr Vice President", I said sarcastically to myself after giving an affirmation to their nomination. "I hope I don't end up disappointing these people", I added.
Come to think of it. All I needed from NYSC was the discharge certificate. CDS participation to me was only one of the rites to be performed for the monthly pay. So why should I be an 'ex-co' and get needlessly engrossed in a work I never bargained for? Oh daughters of Eve, see how far you've pushed me. The beautiful effulgence emanating from your faces while you clamoured for my investiture indicated an enormous satisfaction and confidence you had in me. How could I have let you down at this point?
By the way, I hope you know that I have a prerogative to resign in the future if I deem it necessary. Would you accept it from me?
(These were my rhetorics as I mused through the days of the new official status. The days weren't that gloomy though. Point of solace showed up as I sensed my CV could be getting a boost afterall. Nonetheless, of what value is that?)
#####
By the following week, our new anti-corruption CDS group was ready to take-off. Meeting started at the expected time in the unkempt and partly illuminated state-owned hall which had been home to the other courting CDS group. Bona-fide ex-co's sat at the high-table and I was likewise visible among them.
"Matters arising", the new President began.
Having taken his keen audience through a strenuously long walk of circumlocutory narrative of meetings held with NYSC officials, he concluded:
"... we are to return to our former groups."
Expectedly no sooner had the President ended his shocker-speech than reactions began to gush from all and sundry. Even the "inner-circle" of ex-co's were taken aback. How could I have spent the whole of the past week fighting internal battles in gaining acquaintance with an office only to realise it was all a mirage? What height of nonsense is all this? That moment, everything simply went black. The joy of being in the gathering of friends; the spinning of the ceiling fan; the illumination from the hanging fluorescent tubes; everything in short, just ceased. It was like being on a bus that broke down shortly after leaving the bus-park though passengers had waited hours during 'loading'. I looked up to see the angry faces of commentators as they they passed the remonstration baton from mouth to mouth. It wasn't a pleasant sight at all. Unfortunately the NYSC officials, who were the supposed recipients of these complaints for authoring the inconsistencies and confusion were not anywhere around.
However somewhere in the midst of all these, my own grievances were gradually ebbing away. I finally became a little happier as I found that the plot to strangle me with the burden of 'ex-coship' by the daughters of Eve had been finally foiled. Oh, praise God with me. I'm finally free!
######
Few minutes before 10am, I strolled into the long-time-no-see shed where my old group (now divorced) held its weekly meetings. Though the current meeting presumably started at the usual 9am, I wasn't uncomfortable with my arrival time. Call it gate-crashing, na you sabi. The fact was I was just there like most others - waiting to sign the attendance register. From my glance, there were already about twelve to fifteen members present, close to half of the total 'active' members in the group. The popular Bayo of batch C, who was also one of the executives in the last tenure was at the high table as 'President' or at least presiding over the meeting while being flanked by two others. As I took my seat quietly at a rear bench, I heard the daughters of Eve call out again, this time with their brothers:
"Mr Vice-President, why are you late? Moreover that's not your seat. You should be in front"
"Ah. But, wait a minute", I protested. "I was VP in the defunct group. This one is a new dawn. We should hold fresh..."
"Sir, you're already our VP whether you like it or not." they cut in. "We can't start reinventing the wheel at this point. Please go to the front", they continued imploringly.
Seeing how ferocious they had become in their resolve, I gave in to the clarion call once again. At this moment, there wasn't a need to revisit the acceptance struggle anymore. Whatever needed to be thought through had already been reckoned with in the recent times.
As the weeks went by, the realities of the extra-work I anticipated from the office began to pop-up. Firstly, I had to be at the venue for weekly meetings by 8am, a time that is an hour earlier than the ideal 9 o'clock; meaning that I had to curtail my highly relishable Monday night's sleep. Secondly, I had to wear the NYSC kits which was personally disliked for more than once in a week if assignments took me to the secretariat on days other than than CDS's Tuesday. Next to that, I had to be up and ready to run official assignments even at 'unofficial' hours and sometimes with 'unofficial' resources like my phone and its undocumented credit particularly when my Oga-at-the-top is based in Lagos while I'm the circumstantially available representative here in town.
No big deal, you may say of these things. And certainly I agree with you especially now that I'm used to them already. However there is yet a strange fruit. Wait till I introduce it to you. It's common and casual; juicy and irresistible; catchy to the eyes and stimulating to the palate. It's the Eve's apple.
Since the time of my assumption of office, I'd not stopped making new friends and finding new playmates among the dainty white-on-green ladies of my CDS group. While some were the undiscovered folks of my Alma Mata, PPA or hometown, others were simply new altogether.
I always found the trend of our friendship normal and undisturbing until the end of last month when I had to assist the unavoidably unavailable President in issuing clearance letters. By the way, unlike what obtains in some other regions of the country, issuance of monthly CDS clearance is institutionally in the hands of the CDS President.
One after the other, the daughters of Eve came by with slices of their mother's bequest looming at me from their hands. Knowing fully well that they'd fallen short of the criteria for clearance, they licentiously issued greetings of smiles and hugs, some even serpentinely gesticulating to offer me a spellbinding view of their endowments for enhanced service delivery.
"Oh, how're you today?" I responded managing to appear naive about their ulterior motives.
As I scrolled through the attendance registers to make my findings, the unabolishable truth of their inadequacies soon surfaced: they didn't even meet the requirement for paying a fine!
"So what do we do at this juncture?" I lifted my head to ask.
Hello reader. I need answers please. Have you been in touch with that kind of apple too?
I know that such scenarios are common. In this season of holidays where many corp members have 'vacated' CDS just as they have done in PPA, and are now bent on simply coming around at the month's end to 'pick-up' clearance letters. What do we do?
Some have debated the kind of fruit it was. Many take it for an apple while others say it wasn't. Though there are no evidences to support either claim, the truth still remains that a mysterious fruit was handed to the world's first Daddy by his beloved Eve. And as we all know, misery was what followed.
But quite surprisingly, there is still good news: Daddy didn't finish the fruit! Matter of fact, his wife even carefully wrapped the left-over and handed it down to the men and women of subsequent generations. Oh, What a wonder to behold!
I'm sure you're already gasping to find out how I came by this 'truth'. Well, let's see.
As a serving youth corp member in one of the southwestern states of Nigeria, I had the privilege of being a member of one of the anti-corruption CDS groups. Shortly before the passing out of the last year's batch B members, news had it that there was going to be a merger of my group with another anti-corruption group as part of the bid to reduce the overly high number of CDS groups in the zone and thereby foster efficient supervision and inspection. I'd not attended more than three meetings with my group before the merger process got well under way. As for the three meetings, all I recall is that I once introduced myself to the house when asked to do so, and I gave my opinion on a couple of issues while raising questions a few other times. I also remember that the incumbent executives were mostly of the outgoing batch B members who were making arrangements to conduct an election and thereafter hand over their offices before the merger matter hijacked the stage. With the merger now at hand, meeting venue had to change, and all election plans had to bow.
Unknown to me, there was more to those three weeks then I realised - my admirers, the daughters of Eve were fastly growing unto a substantial number. By virtue of my overall reservedness and reticence, I never knew this happened until elections for the newly formed group came up. With one of the toughest voices of unanimousness I'd ever experienced, my apathetic self got (s)elected into the office of the Vice-President by these folks, their male counterparts also lending them dogged support.
"Congratulations to you Mr Vice President", I said sarcastically to myself after giving an affirmation to their nomination. "I hope I don't end up disappointing these people", I added.
Come to think of it. All I needed from NYSC was the discharge certificate. CDS participation to me was only one of the rites to be performed for the monthly pay. So why should I be an 'ex-co' and get needlessly engrossed in a work I never bargained for? Oh daughters of Eve, see how far you've pushed me. The beautiful effulgence emanating from your faces while you clamoured for my investiture indicated an enormous satisfaction and confidence you had in me. How could I have let you down at this point?
By the way, I hope you know that I have a prerogative to resign in the future if I deem it necessary. Would you accept it from me?
(These were my rhetorics as I mused through the days of the new official status. The days weren't that gloomy though. Point of solace showed up as I sensed my CV could be getting a boost afterall. Nonetheless, of what value is that?)
#####
By the following week, our new anti-corruption CDS group was ready to take-off. Meeting started at the expected time in the unkempt and partly illuminated state-owned hall which had been home to the other courting CDS group. Bona-fide ex-co's sat at the high-table and I was likewise visible among them.
"Matters arising", the new President began.
Having taken his keen audience through a strenuously long walk of circumlocutory narrative of meetings held with NYSC officials, he concluded:
"... we are to return to our former groups."
Expectedly no sooner had the President ended his shocker-speech than reactions began to gush from all and sundry. Even the "inner-circle" of ex-co's were taken aback. How could I have spent the whole of the past week fighting internal battles in gaining acquaintance with an office only to realise it was all a mirage? What height of nonsense is all this? That moment, everything simply went black. The joy of being in the gathering of friends; the spinning of the ceiling fan; the illumination from the hanging fluorescent tubes; everything in short, just ceased. It was like being on a bus that broke down shortly after leaving the bus-park though passengers had waited hours during 'loading'. I looked up to see the angry faces of commentators as they they passed the remonstration baton from mouth to mouth. It wasn't a pleasant sight at all. Unfortunately the NYSC officials, who were the supposed recipients of these complaints for authoring the inconsistencies and confusion were not anywhere around.
However somewhere in the midst of all these, my own grievances were gradually ebbing away. I finally became a little happier as I found that the plot to strangle me with the burden of 'ex-coship' by the daughters of Eve had been finally foiled. Oh, praise God with me. I'm finally free!
######
Few minutes before 10am, I strolled into the long-time-no-see shed where my old group (now divorced) held its weekly meetings. Though the current meeting presumably started at the usual 9am, I wasn't uncomfortable with my arrival time. Call it gate-crashing, na you sabi. The fact was I was just there like most others - waiting to sign the attendance register. From my glance, there were already about twelve to fifteen members present, close to half of the total 'active' members in the group. The popular Bayo of batch C, who was also one of the executives in the last tenure was at the high table as 'President' or at least presiding over the meeting while being flanked by two others. As I took my seat quietly at a rear bench, I heard the daughters of Eve call out again, this time with their brothers:
"Mr Vice-President, why are you late? Moreover that's not your seat. You should be in front"
"Ah. But, wait a minute", I protested. "I was VP in the defunct group. This one is a new dawn. We should hold fresh..."
"Sir, you're already our VP whether you like it or not." they cut in. "We can't start reinventing the wheel at this point. Please go to the front", they continued imploringly.
Seeing how ferocious they had become in their resolve, I gave in to the clarion call once again. At this moment, there wasn't a need to revisit the acceptance struggle anymore. Whatever needed to be thought through had already been reckoned with in the recent times.
As the weeks went by, the realities of the extra-work I anticipated from the office began to pop-up. Firstly, I had to be at the venue for weekly meetings by 8am, a time that is an hour earlier than the ideal 9 o'clock; meaning that I had to curtail my highly relishable Monday night's sleep. Secondly, I had to wear the NYSC kits which was personally disliked for more than once in a week if assignments took me to the secretariat on days other than than CDS's Tuesday. Next to that, I had to be up and ready to run official assignments even at 'unofficial' hours and sometimes with 'unofficial' resources like my phone and its undocumented credit particularly when my Oga-at-the-top is based in Lagos while I'm the circumstantially available representative here in town.
No big deal, you may say of these things. And certainly I agree with you especially now that I'm used to them already. However there is yet a strange fruit. Wait till I introduce it to you. It's common and casual; juicy and irresistible; catchy to the eyes and stimulating to the palate. It's the Eve's apple.
Since the time of my assumption of office, I'd not stopped making new friends and finding new playmates among the dainty white-on-green ladies of my CDS group. While some were the undiscovered folks of my Alma Mata, PPA or hometown, others were simply new altogether.
I always found the trend of our friendship normal and undisturbing until the end of last month when I had to assist the unavoidably unavailable President in issuing clearance letters. By the way, unlike what obtains in some other regions of the country, issuance of monthly CDS clearance is institutionally in the hands of the CDS President.
One after the other, the daughters of Eve came by with slices of their mother's bequest looming at me from their hands. Knowing fully well that they'd fallen short of the criteria for clearance, they licentiously issued greetings of smiles and hugs, some even serpentinely gesticulating to offer me a spellbinding view of their endowments for enhanced service delivery.
"Oh, how're you today?" I responded managing to appear naive about their ulterior motives.
As I scrolled through the attendance registers to make my findings, the unabolishable truth of their inadequacies soon surfaced: they didn't even meet the requirement for paying a fine!
"So what do we do at this juncture?" I lifted my head to ask.
Hello reader. I need answers please. Have you been in touch with that kind of apple too?
I know that such scenarios are common. In this season of holidays where many corp members have 'vacated' CDS just as they have done in PPA, and are now bent on simply coming around at the month's end to 'pick-up' clearance letters. What do we do?
man, Ur in trouble...whatever happens - don't eat that fruit. Learn from Adam...be nice if u can but show em u are strict too!
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