Good to Go!

“Can I see your I.D card?”

I flashed my I.D card quickly.

“Sign here.” She said using here little finger to point to the row where I was to sign.

“Thank you ma”, I said as I collected the cash. I held the four pieces of two hundred naira notes in my hand and I felt a smile breakout on my face. The refund of transportation cost from camp to the secretariat came as a surprise to me. When the NYSC Local Government Inspector told us to expect a refund, I hadn’t believed him and didn’t expect a refund.

The paper work at the NYSC secretariat was fairly explicable. Submit an acceptance letter to show that your Place of Primary assignment was willing to have you serve there, fill in a bank account opening form – so your allowance (did I hear you say chicken change?) could be put there and fill out some boring forms. I finished these in a hurry and began to anticipate home since it was customary for new corps members to travel for a short stay at home during the holidays.

As I loafed a little in the registration hall, I saw him. His eyes were small and red, his hair dark and bushy and with the same piercing look. Immediately my imaginations ran wild:

*****************

“Ladies and gentlemen.” He said

Applause.

“E get one thing whey Akpors do.”

Laughter from audience.

“One day for class teacher write ‘2x + 4 = 10’ find ‘x’. The man come turn face class. Im begin to dey look all the Olodo whey bin dey sidon for back.”

More laughter.

“The teacher come point to Akpors. ‘You Akpors – find x – tell me the value of x’”

Laughter.

“Mr Oga. Nor vex eh but, no be x be dat for board? Why you talk se make I find x again?”

Wild Laughter

*****************

Although we were in the same platoon, I never knew his real name – everyone back then in camp simply called him Akpors. Here I was imagining him as a stand-up comedian. If there was any one person I couldn’t forget, he was definitely the one. For sure, if he ventured into becoming a comedian he would, at least, rival basket mouth (Know him?). He was every bit a live comic. A mere look at him could cause you to laugh on end. He achieved celebrity status on camp and everyone knew him for his perpetually funny mannerism. His only rival, perhaps, was a guy popularly called “Ojukwu”. He was short, and thick, and round. Well, I won’t say he was as funny as Akpors; but he was a bundle of mischief.

“Akpors dem post you come here sef?” I said.

“Nna mehn, na so I see am O. Them just deposit me for inside bush.”

I laughed a while and walked towards an empty seat. Only one experience could rival all my experiences in the past 24 hours. That was my first day in secondary school. I had been offered admission into a boarding school and on that day I woke up excited. I packed my box into the car and set out with both parents. Forty five minutes into the journey the car broke down. It was fixed and it ran smoothly for another thirty minutes before it broke down again. It was fixed again; but, after about a kilometer of driving along the Lagos –Ibadan expressway the back tire got bad. We got that fixed too and all seemed well. Of course, more was to come. To make a bad case worse, the rains fell very heavily that day – which made things seem gloomy. On the way, we saw a young boy looking stranded: he waved at us and we good naturedly picked him up; after all, he was heading to a place close to our destination. While we focused on the journey ahead, the young man was busy stealing from my bag – it was mother that noticed it. How could I have been the one? After all, I was worried thinking about senior students, boarding house food, and suchlike.

[Come to think of it, almost every worthy venture will have obstacles. It’s a given. There are bound to be discouragements on the road of success but like the bible says, “if you fail in the day adversity, your strength is small”. So, the bottom line is to stay determined and focused all the way!]

Hillary and I left the secretariat and headed back for Kanturu. Sooner than we expected, we arrived. I can’t help but wonder why a journey always seems shorter the second time. We were famished and Corper Hope treated us to a meal of Semolina and a really nice tasting soup. I relished every cubic decimeter of the food and I better understood the African adage which says: “the way to a man’s heart is his stomach”. I kept thanking her for the meal until she passed out of NYSC.

HOSPITALITY

Hi bro please help

Hi bro please save

I need a place to rest my leg

A cozy place to pass the night

I’ve got no room

I’ve got no space

My rooms are filled up to the brim

It shan’t be wise to have you too

But bro please look

Come bro please think

I’m only just a stranger here

And pocket’s cash is really low

Just get a mat

Just rest a while

I’ll get me home and see if there’s room

And come and take you in if so

: But soon I came

Hey bro! Hey bro!

I searched around the motor park

But couldn’t find that lonely man

: I scratched my head

And bit my lip

I should Have asked him in at once

Be good to all while you have time

DEAR Reader,

Because of our PHCN’s generosity where I stay, Friday’s post was not released. Apologies. If you a story on your NYSC experience, send me an e-mail. Please and share. Till we ‘meet’ again on Friday’s episode I say: “Have a great week!”

Here’s a great site. CLICK HERE to find out!